{"product_id":"lets-call-you-an-uber-mens-wife-beater-things-satan-taught-me","title":"Let's Call You An Uber — Wife Beater","description":"\u003cp\u003eLights low. Exit strategy lower.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA lamplit bedroom, two red cups on the nightstand, and a young man already confirming the pickup while she's still sitting on the bed. Tender. Wholesome. Four minutes out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Prince of Lies teaches that lingering is for the weak and breakfast is a trap set by the righteous. Complete the rite, summon the chariot, tip the driver like a gentleman. Some call it cold. The congregation calls it closure with a licence plate.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":43819955290179,"sku":"17249900892494914474","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43819955322947,"sku":"19039318680661553608","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":43819955355715,"sku":"24126687596433174573","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ S","offer_id":43819955388483,"sku":"82860481546282864621","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ S","offer_id":43819955421251,"sku":"30689250070606375438","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":43819955454019,"sku":"25180435969011381930","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43819955486787,"sku":"44705065855861868995","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43819955519555,"sku":"90143361932977117828","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":43819955552323,"sku":"33905337729526760865","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ M","offer_id":43819955585091,"sku":"12134289254043383437","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ M","offer_id":43819955617859,"sku":"32254229156833536339","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":43819955650627,"sku":"26586478964699394951","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43819955683395,"sku":"61389428451387863259","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43819955716163,"sku":"28464826392648204302","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":43819955748931,"sku":"21507744346143966150","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ L","offer_id":43819955781699,"sku":"33200154443780227385","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ L","offer_id":43819955814467,"sku":"17212728247315561703","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":43819955847235,"sku":"18416152036021232733","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43819955880003,"sku":"18644282761879609611","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43819955912771,"sku":"18237308625685651355","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":43819955945539,"sku":"52857971766937854103","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ XL","offer_id":43819955978307,"sku":"24187430708688089306","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ XL","offer_id":43819956011075,"sku":"24514670073094912446","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":43819956043843,"sku":"32642420403827555308","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43819956076611,"sku":"16936555132012260464","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956109379,"sku":"10659545838006060108","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956142147,"sku":"11132093346631672430","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956174915,"sku":"22466310769849425806","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956207683,"sku":"71933746700308183327","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956240451,"sku":"13153459255416276367","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43819956273219,"sku":"21297347675393419263","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956305987,"sku":"13424135054690821908","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956338755,"sku":"30470045471450257510","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956371523,"sku":"26971100795409068628","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956404291,"sku":"33573331658046341470","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956437059,"sku":"11870568582540196820","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43819956469827,"sku":"30699071195895958872","price":46.66,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0707\/8454\/8931\/files\/5459322986651613944_2048.jpg?v=1789222449","url":"https:\/\/thingssatantaughtme.com\/products\/lets-call-you-an-uber-mens-wife-beater-things-satan-taught-me","provider":"Things Satan Taught Me","version":"1.0","type":"link"}