Shipping policy
Delivered acrossthe mortal realm.
Printed to order in the United States, then tracked all the way to your door in the US or Canada. Hell is expanding slowly.
Questions? Confess to us. The cards are the short version; the full text below is the one that counts.
Days of ritual
Every piece is printed just for you within 2–5 business days.
United States
Free on orders of US$65+. Arrives about 2–5 business days after it ships.
Canada
Free on orders of US$90+. Arrives about 10–30 business days after it ships.
Tracked
A tracking link lands in your inbox the moment your order leaves.
Delivered across the mortal realm. Well, the United States and Canada.
Every piece is printed on demand by our print partner in the United States, then sent to you with tracking. Last updated: 26 September 2026.
Where we ship
We currently ship to addresses in the United States and Canada. We don't ship elsewhere yet; Hell is expanding slowly. Occasionally an item can't be sent to a particular destination. If so, checkout will tell you before you pay.
The ritual (production time)
Your order is printed to order within 2–5 business days (Monday to Friday, excluding holidays). You'll get an email with a tracking link as soon as it ships.
United States
- Standard tracked shipping: US$4.95 per order.
- Free standard shipping on orders of US$65 or more, after discounts and before tax.
- Delivery: about 2–5 business days after your order ships. Some remote addresses take longer.
Canada
- Standard tracked shipping: US$9.95 per order, shown in Canadian dollars at checkout.
- Free standard shipping on orders of US$90 or more, after discounts and before tax, shown in Canadian dollars at checkout.
- Delivery: about 10–30 business days after your order ships. Orders cross the border from the United States, so they take longer than domestic mail.
- Canadian shoppers see product prices and totals in Canadian dollars.
Taxes, duties and the toll at the gate
Applicable sales taxes are calculated at checkout. For Canadian orders, the carrier or Canada Post may also collect GST/HST, provincial sales tax, duties or brokerage fees on delivery, depending on your order's value and the carrier. These charges are set by the government or carrier, not by us, and are the recipient's responsibility. If you refuse a delivery because of these charges, we can't refund the order.
More than one parcel
Orders with several items are sometimes printed and shipped separately, so they may arrive on different days with separate tracking numbers. You'll never pay extra shipping for this.
Delivery estimates
Delivery times are estimates from our print partner and carriers, not guarantees. Holidays, peak season, weather and customs checks can add a few days. Once a parcel is with the carrier, we can't speed it up, however many candles you light.
Check your address
Please check your shipping address carefully at checkout. We send orders to the address you give us. If you spot a mistake, email us straight away. We can fix it only before the order goes to print. Parcels returned because of an incorrect or incomplete address can be reshipped once you pay the shipping cost again.
Lost, late or damaged in transit
If tracking stalls for 10 business days, a parcel is marked delivered but hasn't arrived, or an item arrives damaged, see our Refund Policy. We'll sort it out with the carrier and send a replacement or refund.
Confess to us
Questions about an order? Email thingssatantaughtme@hotmail.com with your order number.
Still lost?
Confess to us.We've heard worse.
Order problems, sizing panic or a question the fine print didn't answer. A human replies within one business day.