Let's Get A Bag
“Your soul was depreciating anyway.”
Summoned to order in 2–5 business days · Tracked delivery to the US & Canada
Unholy Pair 10% off 2 · Unholy Trinity 20% off 3+ · applied automatically, no incantation required
Sign here. Blood, not ink.
A cheerful storybook scene grins out in bright primary colours, looking every bit like a picture-book lesson about saving your pennies in a jar. Patience. Thrift. A little something for a rainy day. The Dark Lord read the very same book and took very different notes.
Here is the rite of prosperity: get the bag, get it fast, and never ask what it cost. The invoice always arrives eventually, addressed to whoever you used to be. Ambition is just a sin that keeps immaculate books. Sign where the Adversary has flagged, initial every page, keep the receipt. Your soul was depreciating anyway.
For side-hustlers, schemers and anyone who's said "it's not about the money" with a straight face.
The vessel · Wife BeaterSleeveless, garment-dyed and entirely unrepentant. For men who confess nothing, grill anyway, and let the art do the talking at the family reunion.
Fit & fabricthe vessel
Relaxed fit. Size down for a closer cut. Garment-dyed, so each piece varies slightly in colour.
- 100% ring-spun US cotton
- Medium-weight 6.1 oz/yd²
- Garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in colour
- Tubular knit (no side seams), self-fabric binding
- Blank: Comfort Colors 9360. Printed to order, direct-to-garment or direct-to-film depending on the print partner.
Size chartmeasure twice, sin once
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 16.541.9 | 17.544.5 | 19.549.5 | 21.254.0 | 23.058.4 | 25.063.5 | 27.068.6 |
| Body length | 25.364.1 | 26.667.6 | 28.071.1 | 29.474.6 | 30.878.1 | 31.680.3 | 32.582.5 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
Delivery & returnsforgiveness sold separately
| To | Cost | Arrives |
|---|---|---|
| United States | US$4.95 · free on $65+ | 2–5 business days after printing |
| Canada | US$9.95 (shown in CAD) · free on US$90+ | 10–30 business days after printing |
Printing takes 2–5 business days. Nothing is made until you order it, so there are no returns for a change of heart or size. Forgiveness sold separately. Damaged, defective or wrong? Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll replace or refund it. Refund policy · Shipping policy
Careaftercare rites
- Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed
- Tumble dry low
- Iron, steam or dry on low heat
- Do not dry-clean
Blame Satan. Keep the shirt.
Wear it, tag it: #SatanMadeMeBuyItSame sin, different lesson · Wear your sins
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Size & fit
Measure twice. Sin once. Printed-to-order means no size swaps.
Wife Beater · Comfort Colors 9360
Relaxed fit. Size down for a closer cut. Garment-dyed, so each piece varies slightly in colour.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 16.541.9 | 17.544.5 | 19.549.5 | 21.254.0 | 23.058.4 | 25.063.5 | 27.068.6 |
| Body length | 25.364.1 | 26.667.6 | 28.071.1 | 29.474.6 | 30.878.1 | 31.680.3 | 32.582.5 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
How to measure: lay your best-fitting shirt flat and measure straight across the chest, 1 in below the armpits, then from the highest point of the shoulder to the hem. Compare with the table. All size guides
Wife Beater · Choose a size