Let's Make This About Me
“Anyway, back to me.”
Summoned to order in 2–5 business days · Tracked delivery to the US & Canada
Unholy Pair 10% off 2 · Unholy Trinity 20% off 3+ · applied automatically, no incantation required
All hail the main character.
A self-satisfied storybook figure smiles out from the page, glowing in golden picture-book light as if the illustrator drew the whole world just to hold them up. Perhaps they did. Somewhere off the edge of the page, someone else is having a very hard day. They'll hear about it.
Scripture from below teaches that another person's tragedy is simply an underused opportunity to discuss how it affects you. Redirect the grief. Steal the spotlight gently, then entirely. Every wedding secretly wants a toast about you; every crisis is auditioning to become a one-person show. Pride is a deadly sin. Mercifully, you look fantastic in it.
For those who hear "I have news" and immediately start their own announcement.
The vessel · Racerback TankShoulders out, conscience off. A slim racerback built for summer solstice, sweaty rituals and walking away from things without looking back.
Fit & fabricthe vessel
Slim fit with a racerback cut and scooped neckline. Between sizes? Size up.
- 60% combed ring-spun cotton, 40% polyester
- Extra-light 4 oz/yd² (135 g/m²)
- Side seams and self-fabric binding
- Tear-away label
- Blank: Next Level 1533. Printed to order, direct-to-garment or direct-to-film depending on the print partner.
Size chartmeasure twice, sin once
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 14.035.5 | 15.038.1 | 16.040.6 | 17.043.1 | 18.045.7 | 19.048.2 |
| Body length | 27.068.5 | 27.569.8 | 28.071.0 | 28.572.3 | 29.073.6 | 29.574.9 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
Delivery & returnsforgiveness sold separately
| To | Cost | Arrives |
|---|---|---|
| United States | US$4.95 · free on $65+ | 2–5 business days after printing |
| Canada | US$9.95 (shown in CAD) · free on US$90+ | 10–30 business days after printing |
Printing takes 2–5 business days. Nothing is made until you order it, so there are no returns for a change of heart or size. Forgiveness sold separately. Damaged, defective or wrong? Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll replace or refund it. Refund policy · Shipping policy
Careaftercare rites
- Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry low
- Do not iron
- Do not dry-clean
Blame Satan. Keep the shirt.
Wear it, tag it: #SatanMadeMeBuyItSame sin, different lesson · Wear your sins
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Size & fit
Measure twice. Sin once. Printed-to-order means no size swaps.
Racerback Tank · Next Level 1533
Slim fit with a racerback cut and scooped neckline. Between sizes? Size up.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 14.035.5 | 15.038.1 | 16.040.6 | 17.043.1 | 18.045.7 | 19.048.2 |
| Body length | 27.068.5 | 27.569.8 | 28.071.0 | 28.572.3 | 29.073.6 | 29.574.9 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
How to measure: lay your best-fitting shirt flat and measure straight across the chest, 1 in below the armpits, then from the highest point of the shoulder to the hem. Compare with the table. All size guides
Racerback Tank · Choose a size