Let's Paint Your Face artwork by Things Satan Taught Me
Let's Paint Your Face Wife Beater in Black, front
Let's Paint Your Face Wife Beater in Black, view 2
Let's Paint Your Face Wife Beater in Black, view 3
Let's Paint Your Face Wife Beater in Black, view 4

Let's Paint Your Face

“Wear your sins. Visibly.”

Wife Beater · Not Safe for Grandma
$46.66 CADPriced to the mark. Always ends in 6.66.
Choose your vessel same sin, four cuts
Colour Black
Size

Summoned to order in 2–5 business days · Tracked delivery to the US & Canada

Unholy Pair 10% off 2 · Unholy Trinity 20% off 3+ · applied automatically, no incantation required

Hold still. The sigil's almost dry.

A whimsical storybook scene grins up at you, bright and cheerful as a village fair. Anyone who pictured a harmless craft table may keep that picture. The Adversary prefers a more personal canvas, and every proper ritual begins with a little ceremonial colour.

The pious insist you face the world bare, scrubbed and honest. Hell knows better: the face you show people was always a mask, so you may as well choose the colours. Draw the sigil, sharpen the brow, pick a shade that says damnation with confidence. Every artist signs their work. His signature simply doesn't wash off.

The commandmentThou shalt not face the congregation unpainted.

For fair-day menaces, festival witches, and anyone whose makeup routine includes at least one summoning.

The vessel · Wife BeaterSleeveless, garment-dyed and entirely unrepentant. For men who confess nothing, grill anyway, and let the art do the talking at the family reunion.

Fit & fabricthe vessel

Relaxed fit. Size down for a closer cut. Garment-dyed, so each piece varies slightly in colour.

  • 100% ring-spun US cotton
  • Medium-weight 6.1 oz/yd²
  • Garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in colour
  • Tubular knit (no side seams), self-fabric binding
  • Blank: Comfort Colors 9360. Printed to order, direct-to-garment or direct-to-film depending on the print partner.
Size chartmeasure twice, sin once
XSSMLXL2XL3XL
Chest width (flat)16.541.917.544.519.549.521.254.023.058.425.063.527.068.6
Body length25.364.126.667.628.071.129.474.630.878.131.680.332.582.5

Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.

Delivery & returnsforgiveness sold separately
ToCostArrives
United StatesUS$4.95 · free on $65+2–5 business days after printing
CanadaUS$9.95 (shown in CAD) · free on US$90+10–30 business days after printing

Printing takes 2–5 business days. Nothing is made until you order it, so there are no returns for a change of heart or size. Forgiveness sold separately. Damaged, defective or wrong? Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll replace or refund it. Refund policy · Shipping policy

Careaftercare rites
  • Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
  • Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed
  • Tumble dry low
  • Iron, steam or dry on low heat
  • Do not dry-clean

Blame Satan. Keep the shirt.

Wear it, tag it: #SatanMadeMeBuyIt

Same sin, different lesson · Wear your sins

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Let's Paint Your Face
Wife Beater · Choose a size