Let's Make Dad Proud No. 2
“Spite: now a franchise.”
Summoned to order in 2–5 business days · Tracked delivery to the US & Canada
Unholy Pair 10% off 2 · Unholy Trinity 20% off 3+ · applied automatically, no incantation required
Part two. Same audience of none.
A picture-book family beams from the page, polished and hopeful, posed like the cover of a sequel nobody requested. Because that's what this is. The first attempt at paternal approval closed early to poor reviews, and hell, ever generous, has greenlit volume two.
The Adversary teaches that some approval is worth chasing precisely because it will never arrive. It keeps you moving. It keeps you interesting. So make it bigger, louder, and aimed squarely at a man who never once sat through the first act. He didn't clap last time. He won't clap now. Excellent.
For second sons, repeat offenders, and anyone still performing for an empty seat at the recital.
The vessel · Unisex TeeThe gateway garment. Soft enough to fool the congregation, loud enough to get you uninvited from the next one. Cut for every body the Dark Lord ever claimed.
Fit & fabricthe vessel
Modern retail fit. Not boxy. True to size for most; size up for a roomier drape.
- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton on solid colours (heathers are cotton-poly blends)
- Lightweight 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
- Ribbed crew neck, side seams, shoulder tape
- Tear-away label
- Blank: Bella+Canvas 3001. Printed to order, direct-to-garment or direct-to-film depending on the print partner.
Size chartmeasure twice, sin once
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 16.541.9 | 18.045.7 | 20.050.8 | 22.055.9 | 24.061.0 | 26.066.0 | 28.071.1 | 30.076.2 | 32.081.3 |
| Body length | 27.068.6 | 28.071.1 | 29.073.7 | 30.076.2 | 31.078.7 | 32.081.3 | 33.083.8 | 34.086.4 | 35.088.9 |
| Sleeve length | 8.621.8 | 8.922.6 | 9.223.4 | 9.524.1 | 9.724.6 | 10.025.4 | 10.426.4 | 10.827.4 | 11.228.4 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
Delivery & returnsforgiveness sold separately
| To | Cost | Arrives |
|---|---|---|
| United States | US$4.95 · free on $65+ | 2–5 business days after printing |
| Canada | US$9.95 (shown in CAD) · free on US$90+ | 10–30 business days after printing |
Printing takes 2–5 business days. Nothing is made until you order it, so there are no returns for a change of heart or size. Forgiveness sold separately. Damaged, defective or wrong? Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll replace or refund it. Refund policy · Shipping policy
Careaftercare rites
- Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed
- Tumble dry low
- Iron, steam or dry on medium heat
- Do not dry-clean
Blame Satan. Keep the shirt.
Wear it, tag it: #SatanMadeMeBuyItSame sin, different lesson · Wear your sins
More Family Matters
Lingering temptations
Recently viewed
Size & fit
Measure twice. Sin once. Printed-to-order means no size swaps.
Unisex Tee · Bella+Canvas 3001
Modern retail fit. Not boxy. True to size for most; size up for a roomier drape.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest width (flat) | 16.541.9 | 18.045.7 | 20.050.8 | 22.055.9 | 24.061.0 | 26.066.0 | 28.071.1 | 30.076.2 | 32.081.3 |
| Body length | 27.068.6 | 28.071.1 | 29.073.7 | 30.076.2 | 31.078.7 | 32.081.3 | 33.083.8 | 34.086.4 | 35.088.9 |
| Sleeve length | 8.621.8 | 8.922.6 | 9.223.4 | 9.524.1 | 9.724.6 | 10.025.4 | 10.426.4 | 10.827.4 | 11.228.4 |
Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.
How to measure: lay your best-fitting shirt flat and measure straight across the chest, 1 in below the armpits, then from the highest point of the shoulder to the hem. Compare with the table. All size guides
Unisex Tee · Choose a size