My Dad Never Hugged Me artwork by Things Satan Taught Me
My Dad Never Hugged Me Wife Beater in Black, front
My Dad Never Hugged Me Wife Beater in Black, view 2
My Dad Never Hugged Me Wife Beater in Black, view 3
My Dad Never Hugged Me Wife Beater in Black, view 4

My Dad Never Hugged Me

“Trauma is a hall pass.”

Wife Beater · Family Matters
$46.66 CADPriced to the mark. Always ends in 6.66.
Choose your vessel same sin, four cuts
Colour Black
Size

Summoned to order in 2–5 business days · Tracked delivery to the US & Canada

Unholy Pair 10% off 2 · Unholy Trinity 20% off 3+ · applied automatically, no incantation required

Behold the nursery of a villain.

A tender storybook living room, lamplit and cosy, the kind of room where everyone says goodnight and nobody says anything else. It looks like a home. It is, in fact, a workshop. This is where villains are assembled, slowly, by a father who treated affection like a limited edition.

Hear the gospel of the unhugged: your wounds are not a weakness, they are a permission slip, signed in triplicate and notarised in brimstone. Every bad decision now arrives with a backstory. Therapists call it a pattern. The Prince of Lies calls it a loophole. It isn't your fault, darling. That's what makes it so useful.

The commandmentThou shalt blame thy father, and bill him for the damages.

For grown adults with firm handshakes, soft grudges and a therapist on speed dial.

The vessel · Wife BeaterSleeveless, garment-dyed and entirely unrepentant. For men who confess nothing, grill anyway, and let the art do the talking at the family reunion.

Fit & fabricthe vessel

Relaxed fit. Size down for a closer cut. Garment-dyed, so each piece varies slightly in colour.

  • 100% ring-spun US cotton
  • Medium-weight 6.1 oz/yd²
  • Garment-dyed for a soft, lived-in colour
  • Tubular knit (no side seams), self-fabric binding
  • Blank: Comfort Colors 9360. Printed to order, direct-to-garment or direct-to-film depending on the print partner.
Size chartmeasure twice, sin once
XSSMLXL2XL3XL
Chest width (flat)16.541.917.544.519.549.521.254.023.058.425.063.527.068.6
Body length25.364.126.667.628.071.129.474.630.878.131.680.332.582.5

Measured flat on the garment. Allow up to about 1.5 in (3.8 cm) either way. Chest width × 2 ≈ full chest.

Delivery & returnsforgiveness sold separately
ToCostArrives
United StatesUS$4.95 · free on $65+2–5 business days after printing
CanadaUS$9.95 (shown in CAD) · free on US$90+10–30 business days after printing

Printing takes 2–5 business days. Nothing is made until you order it, so there are no returns for a change of heart or size. Forgiveness sold separately. Damaged, defective or wrong? Tell us within 30 days of delivery and we'll replace or refund it. Refund policy · Shipping policy

Careaftercare rites
  • Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
  • Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed
  • Tumble dry low
  • Iron, steam or dry on low heat
  • Do not dry-clean

Blame Satan. Keep the shirt.

Wear it, tag it: #SatanMadeMeBuyIt

Same sin, different lesson · Wear your sins

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My Dad Never Hugged Me
Wife Beater · Choose a size